Frederick A. Levy LCSW

(Dedicated to the Miracle of Al-Anon, ACA, Ala-Teen, and all 12 Step Recovery)

If you're hopin' to survive the family booze,
Well give me a listen, 'cause I got the news.
You gotta be grateful that the old man's sleepin'
He'll be lyin' where you'll find him
And you won't hear him heavin'.
He's beached on the floor imitatin' a rug
You trampoline his beer gut he won't even shrug.
Tonight that's alright 'cause when he's awake
He'll shake with the force of 10 earthquakes.
Screamin' and cussin' at your friends and more
He'll embarrass you and creep you right out the door.
And the harder you hurt, and the harder you weep,
He'll hold you hostage, your soul to keep.

Now you're pushing hard in overdrive bein' the best
But the only word he's got for you is "give it a rest!"
If you race like the wind and win every race,
He'll get in your face, call you a disgrace.
He could have crawled faster with chains on his legs,
Crippled so bad he'd need a bowl to beg.
If you sing in the choir and solo a song
He'd show you all the notes that you sang was wrong.
He'd croon those tunes far better than Sinatra -
He might have been famous 'cept he fought in Sumatra.
You surely could die for his approval
But he wouldn't know you from the family poodle.
And the harder you hurt, and the harder you weep,
He'll hold you hostage your soul to keep.

And how do you deal when his fists start flyin'?
Mama screams and shouts and the baby starts cryin'.
Mama's eyes so wide and her face grown pale
(If you were only man enough
To haul the old man to jail).
Down like a bullet you crouch on the floor
Just as daddy screams "are you wanting some more?"
You shiver and shake, too numb to speak
Too frozen to move and too frightened to weep.
You hate the old man, But you hate yourself too -
Must be something more that you could do.
But you're really relieved he's skulking away
And glad you've survived to die another day.
And the harder you hurt and the harder you weep
He'll hold you hostage your soul to keep.

Now mama's lyin', cryin' all night long -
You never need to ask 'cause you know what's wrong.
Shrinking inside she clutches you tight,
But there's nothing you can do to make anything right.
She points to those porch lights burnin' through the night,
Those dusk to dawn candles dyin' in the light.
She sobs about the bimbos swimmin' in his beer,
And the moonless nights she pretended he cared.
Your head's so heavy it can't even shake,
Your heart so scarred it can't even break.
The morning rises - too late to sleep,
Too wired to move, and too wasted to speak.
And the harder you hurt and the harder you weep
He'll hold you hostage, your soul to keep.

If you finally figure out life's a pain in the ass,
It just might behoove you to change something fast.
You mumble "I don't care, it's no never mind,"
I think you got your head where the moon don't shine!
There's a light in the window; a mat on the ground -
You gotta go somewhere where the truth is found.
There's no point sitin' there takin' a beatin' -
Take your sorry self and get to a meetin'!
There are friends in the rooms who've been where you're at
Who've been clobbered by life and got up from the mat.
Their word of wisdom can help you get whole -
They'll recover your pain and return you your soul.

And when you hurt hard, and when you hurt deep,
We're a million in recovery, your soul to keep.